Myths
- You Complete Me
- Marriage Will Change Him
- If He Would Be Perfect, I Would Be Happy
- Let's Make a Deal: The Barter Economy Marriage
- We’ll Be Happy When We Get There
- Children Will Bring Us Closer Together
- Love Will Keep Us Together
- I Married the Perfect Person
- She Knows Me Better Than I Know Myself
- We Can Go Back To the Way We Were
5. We'll Be Happy When We Get There
A certain amount of sacrificing today for the sake of tomorrow is a good thing. "We'll be happy when we get there" can be destructive if one
or both believes that we'll ONLY be happy IF we get there and loses sight of the importance of happiness along the way.
Realistically, both partners make sacrifices along the way. Traditionally, she trades her career aspirations for a 'mommy track.' He sacrifices quality parenting time for financial security. Nowadays, those roles are not necessarily tied to gender, but with dual-income families, everyone is doing all they can to make ends meet. They key is to connect and communicate regularly, making sure you are in agreement about time, money, and parenting issues.
After all, "We'll be happy when we get there" assumes you are going to finish the journey together, and that isn't going to happen if it becomes an unsustainable arrangement for either of you.
Realistically, both partners make sacrifices along the way. Traditionally, she trades her career aspirations for a 'mommy track.' He sacrifices quality parenting time for financial security. Nowadays, those roles are not necessarily tied to gender, but with dual-income families, everyone is doing all they can to make ends meet. They key is to connect and communicate regularly, making sure you are in agreement about time, money, and parenting issues.
After all, "We'll be happy when we get there" assumes you are going to finish the journey together, and that isn't going to happen if it becomes an unsustainable arrangement for either of you.
Victoria Fleming, Ph.D., LCPC, NCC
About the Author
Dr. Victoria Fleming (Ph.D., Indiana University) is an educator and therapist with a private practice in Chicago's northern suburbs. She travels the country offering lectures and workshops based on her current book, "You Complete Me and Other Myths that Destroy Happily Ever After."