Read this book before you go to counseling
Couples in Marriage Counseling and how they got there

You Complete Me
and Other Myths that Destroy
Happily Ever After

By Victoria Fleming Ph.D.

10. We Can Go Back To the Way We Were

No you can't.

I wish I could pretty that up for you, but really, there is no going back.
Your relationship isn't the same after a betrayal, a tragedy, a trauma. It can't be because YOU can't be. Although time heals some wounds, it also gives others the opportunity to fester. If you've never been betrayed and your spouse cheats on you, it is natural to desire a return to life before the discovery. But really, you will never be the same because you'll never again be "someone whose spouse has never cheated."

Some believe they can get over it and move on, like the event was a hurdle in a race. They fantasize a safe landing after clearing the hurdle, staying in the same lane on the same track and finding happiness once again. However, the event takes you onto a new course.

Your life will change because YOU will change; your perspective will change. As scary as change is, you will also find new things to love on this new course. Even if the players stay the same, the game will feel different to you, because you will be experiencing it from a place of new wisdom and strength.