Myths
- You Complete Me
- Marriage Will Change Him
- If He Would Be Perfect, I Would Be Happy
- Let's Make a Deal: The Barter Economy Marriage
- We’ll Be Happy When We Get There
- Children Will Bring Us Closer Together
- Love Will Keep Us Together
- I Married the Perfect Person
- She Knows Me Better Than I Know Myself
- We Can Go Back To the Way We Were
8. I Married The Perfect Person
No you didn't. You couldn't have because no one is perfect, and no one should have to be perfect.
If you believe your spouse is perfect, something is out of balance. If you accept your spouse's claim that YOU are perfect, something is out of place. The relationship is in trouble because someone isn't being honest. This dishonesty turns into games people play. If both people share the false belief that one partner is perfect, they are playing house. They take on the roles and go through the motions, but they can't really be getting to know each other with genuine emotional intimacy if the facade of perfection sits between them.
If you believe your spouse is perfect, something is out of balance. If you accept your spouse's claim that YOU are perfect, something is out of place. The relationship is in trouble because someone isn't being honest. This dishonesty turns into games people play. If both people share the false belief that one partner is perfect, they are playing house. They take on the roles and go through the motions, but they can't really be getting to know each other with genuine emotional intimacy if the facade of perfection sits between them.
Victoria Fleming, Ph.D., LCPC, NCC
About the Author
Dr. Victoria Fleming (Ph.D., Indiana University) is an educator and therapist with a private practice in Chicago's northern suburbs. She travels the country offering lectures and workshops based on her current book, "You Complete Me and Other Myths that Destroy Happily Ever After."