Read this book before you go to counseling
Couples in Marriage Counseling and how they got there

You Complete Me
and Other Myths that Destroy
Happily Ever After

By Victoria Fleming Ph.D.

4. Let's Make a Deal: The Barter Economy Marriage

If I take care of the house and kids,
you'll take care of me. Forever.
Couples with a very rigid division of responsibility are often operating under a barter economy. They are trading goods and services as part of their agreement to stay together. One issue is that what you want, what's important to you, and how you believe you need to spend your time, is likely to change over time. Women may question their identity once children have been launched. Men may question their commitment once they've met certain professional goals.

Couples who let aspects of their agreement "go without saying" often get burned when they find out something they took as a given, their spouse didn't agree to. Fidelity is a major breech in the marital agreement, but any number of breeches may lead a couple to seek professional help. Typically, whatever breeches brought them to counseling are just the tip of the iceburg.